rough hewn carpet base"boars" . waiting around - browing the ranks - "masc seek same", "lookin for ramonace" the one? " blah, blah, blah - I remember a moment in Shawshank Redemption when they spoke of a person that didn't exist _ existing on ly on paper... untraceable, able to store away endlesss laundered money in variou sbank accounts, etc. why do i feel like that. like a person that only exists online - in this new world, in this new place....outside of my job, i exist to no one. (well, for the most part). what temporatal vanity space would suck closetd and fucke up some sp/time continum ? butterfly effect. (wonderful life character) you don't knont to know see? - it would never be as storong an impulse to make a decent movie plot....we'll just trudge along - don't get too upset - you can't think about tbhese things too much for if you did, you know it would only feeel worse and you would beat yourself up more and more -- anyways, where was I? > i lkinda enjoy this strange feeling of not knowing whwat tiem or day it was ...is. From falling asleeepin in a nap and then waking freaking that a whole day had passed and totally unsure if you were late for something or not. pity the child. bear3`` has had it's fill of me apparently. fuckin a. lost again. i needa metaphor for muse association llock-in ness. a process tha t will get tme to the place i need to be mentally to write . write something real, not all this blathering crap.
holding hands stogether in front of you as if praying, and pushing noose into a little space cupped between two hands, attempting to figure out a familiar smell - is it only the smell of your own self? the use of a diffferent body wash/shampoo.... hyatt place lotion. a man of straw. mea culpa. mea culpa.
finding an old decripit machine in the jungle, half in pieces and overgrown with foliage. we ultimately get it working with out really knowing wat it does. comes to life> a weapon ? --- an old backstory come to life.
in the tower> endless little machines that massage various parts of the still living spy. little spiders. head massager. getting his juices flowing. to write? -> to they all write? k
HOW TO ENHABIT A BODY LARGER THAN YOUR OWN
(not the title of a self-help book!)
blue - tower
red - theater
yellow (green?) - jungle
each with an insignia > that together forms a tattoo of some sort? no?
each need a fleshed out identity
avatars
goals/aims
BACKSTORY
read
The Human Zoo
Psychology of Personality
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