balance
how do i fix things, learn to do something besides disappoint - a best friend
how do i balance, not put all my forces into, one big thing, such passion, but too much and it diffuses? fizzles out? misdirected.
and work - its about time you began to manage. sure the little projects- the cleaning up and streamlining and brainstorming creative alternatives... and blah. The details. The people are more important...than.... than you.
..or maybe just take an ADD test online, make a doc's appointment, and setup yourself up for slight brain numbing medication for life?
can you step up to the plate?
i love you! i love you! i love you! how could you take this for granted?
how can i now - how can i not be spewing poetry - i'm happy for god's sake! how can that feel so subdued? how do you still seem to maintain control? let yourself go? "cus it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man..."
I want this. I want to be broken, not the state of broken, but be broken upon/by something... him. I want the beauty of the whole thing be continually too much and for me to not run for a change to stay the pain and the violin strings pacing to mount til it's too much. I know so much trapped inside, and always forget that no one's seen but a flicker.
I can't stop.. It seems that stopping to think is always what does me in.
"say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in."
