*Rawr*

I don't believe anyone can fathom how totally and repeatedly bored I am here...and now.

I'm bored with staring at this stupid ad of "Click to Outlift Arnie" with arnold and bush weightlifting at the top of my myspace blog entry window.
I'm bored with sitting in this room filled with all of my shit...books, movies, things to fill my time, i thought, and not wanting to pick anything up.
I'm bored with feeling totally disconnected from everyone, not posessing any true, deeply held desire to conversate with anyone, and them not wanting to conversate with me, (one potentially being caused by the other, or vice versa, who knows), well, except for maybe my parents, who sit complacently in the living room, as always. But now, at home for potentially the last three months for a very long, long time, I, excited to do things, and get them out of their fucking recliners and stay moving, in their lives - whatever- I find myself continually slamming face first into that wall of complacency. God, I mean does having spent a good five or six years of my life hearing them beg and whine for some kind of contact with me, to talk to them, anything - has all that been totally erased from their minds? And now, here I am, willing to put myself through the hell of living in this lifeless town, ONLY for them, to get close to them, and there's....nothing. I leave my door wide open, i go and sit in the living room, i walk by really slowly, annnnnnd....nothing. I made the effort to build a tent a drag them outside to play board games and --- Okay, fine. So i'm not exactly the best initiator of contact in this major complaint of mine. Why do they make me so mad? Don't they realize how little time they have? I mean do they think that they still have a good two months to convice me to stay at home forever? Fuck that. I'm sorry.

AM I THE EPITOMIZATION OF LAZINESS?
if so, how did i get this way?
by being totally spoiled all my life?
shit.

I keep saying I'm going to start doing the pushups, get back into practicing tap, eat more, get my car and moped fixed, sell a great deal of the shit I own, get back in contact with people I care about but haven't talked to in ages, the list goes on I assure you. But......nothing. WHY?

I feel so trapped in my own complacency, anti-motivation, procrastiation, and lack of 'get-up-and-go-ness'.
What to do, what to do...

Oh well, this is really getting me nowhere.....better go do nothing somewhere a little less productive.