...was what the experience of witnessing this short-lived, yet unmeasurably influential duo from Essex could be described as.
The two lasted 18 months and put out only two albums. Though a quarter-century after Yaz's demise, it would have been impossible to tell by the reaction of the sold-out Terminal 5 audience. Nearly every song was sung along to by generations young and old. Some of the same people that heard them first perform live, and never forgot, were likely present. And while their music triggers nostalgia today, originally Yaz's sound helped pioneer a new style: synth-pop.
Could not ask Bill or anyone else for a better start to my musical education.
Overall a huge success from what I could tell, minus some confusion over pink paper hearts, the duo along with the crowd sans doubt dug each other. Rich, Paul, and a few other familiar faces were on hand to witness the unmissable event as well.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
One Step at a Time
"here i sit, in the middle of the room; i don't throw a fit and i don't start crying..."
With some refreshing ol' buddy influence, a spark of memories, and a 'step-back-and-say-WHy-NoT?' perspective taken up, I begin to examine exactly that:
I can easily write about everything... this is the dog that lives with me, she is a such-and-such breed, here's a weblink; this is the camera i use, checkout this link to my flickr page; this is the tv i watch/obsess over, these are the things that interest me, that i am passionate about... sounds simple, right?
You start writing small blips about simple things, and be open to a variety of perspective sand styles, and see where it takes me. See where I take myself.
So, without further whining and blathering, let's begin.
Today is July 16th. 2008.
I've found myself sitting on a bench in a park in West New York overlooking the city as I first got to know it, from afar. From across a river where the full diorama of its skyline been seen from the "outside" and yet easily gained entry to peruse its mysteries....
what the fuck am i saying. i was just here, i just drove over to petsmart to get the dog some food, and was hungry so sdropped in on my favorieteds subway in the rold, in dangerously close proximity to the hyatt.... i wasn't ready to return to .... the suway was as bad as ever, even with two new hired hands, oviously still in training, a fly kept nipping around my head, perfect counterpoint to the rediculous service that still continue to provide....
the weather was hot and my ac was dead, hdesperatley hoping my car would continue running for me to at least get my to jonathans or a nearby bus stop .... but now, having arrived here, no answer from the notoriously bad signaled apartment on the 2nd floor which i can star into the darkened withdown with not answer, no answer on the phone either....so i'm essentially tuck, and to make ma-- confuound it alll, my bateries dying on my phone, resultanta of the whim to avoid overcharging it every night when i go to on the ihome when i go to bed....
its a rediculously beautiful day though.... my ranbans, begin stuck with as my fossils cheal seemed to be misplanced on the camping rtipthe ranbans are making all the greens greener and the blues blueer--- ...there's even some exuberant red coming from the shurberies behind my bench....
there is a rightness to smelling this smell - this natureal greeen, eathry smell....that i ve only found here in parks or on weekend excursious out into the woord awary from the compex ubanities,
i neeed to stop thinking whall the things i need to do and start doing things, ....practice doing things will make me better th at doing the ing i need to do rather than just continually noting them..... -- of course my entire journey would be littered with attractice people, making me wonderi yet again why i felt the ned to desert NJ.... was it solely based on steroetypes and my deisre to just ber in the midst of the dream of this place i dont' even know how to survive in, how to make a living in--- was i just thinking i was just going to ....*end streamofthought*
With some refreshing ol' buddy influence, a spark of memories, and a 'step-back-and-say-WHy-NoT?' perspective taken up, I begin to examine exactly that:
I can easily write about everything... this is the dog that lives with me, she is a such-and-such breed, here's a weblink; this is the camera i use, checkout this link to my flickr page; this is the tv i watch/obsess over, these are the things that interest me, that i am passionate about... sounds simple, right?
You start writing small blips about simple things, and be open to a variety of perspective sand styles, and see where it takes me. See where I take myself.
So, without further whining and blathering, let's begin.
Today is July 16th. 2008.
I've found myself sitting on a bench in a park in West New York overlooking the city as I first got to know it, from afar. From across a river where the full diorama of its skyline been seen from the "outside" and yet easily gained entry to peruse its mysteries....
what the fuck am i saying. i was just here, i just drove over to petsmart to get the dog some food, and was hungry so sdropped in on my favorieteds subway in the rold, in dangerously close proximity to the hyatt.... i wasn't ready to return to .... the suway was as bad as ever, even with two new hired hands, oviously still in training, a fly kept nipping around my head, perfect counterpoint to the rediculous service that still continue to provide....
the weather was hot and my ac was dead, hdesperatley hoping my car would continue running for me to at least get my to jonathans or a nearby bus stop .... but now, having arrived here, no answer from the notoriously bad signaled apartment on the 2nd floor which i can star into the darkened withdown with not answer, no answer on the phone either....so i'm essentially tuck, and to make ma-- confuound it alll, my bateries dying on my phone, resultanta of the whim to avoid overcharging it every night when i go to on the ihome when i go to bed....
its a rediculously beautiful day though.... my ranbans, begin stuck with as my fossils cheal seemed to be misplanced on the camping rtipthe ranbans are making all the greens greener and the blues blueer--- ...there's even some exuberant red coming from the shurberies behind my bench....
there is a rightness to smelling this smell - this natureal greeen, eathry smell....that i ve only found here in parks or on weekend excursious out into the woord awary from the compex ubanities,
i neeed to stop thinking whall the things i need to do and start doing things, ....practice doing things will make me better th at doing the ing i need to do rather than just continually noting them..... -- of course my entire journey would be littered with attractice people, making me wonderi yet again why i felt the ned to desert NJ.... was it solely based on steroetypes and my deisre to just ber in the midst of the dream of this place i dont' even know how to survive in, how to make a living in--- was i just thinking i was just going to ....*end streamofthought*
Saturday, April 26, 2008
April Letter
I start out trying to piece together some thoughts for this letter and end up getting lost in all the possibilities of what to write; but then I take a step back with a breath and realize it doesn't have to be a complex thesis of all that I am. The goal: express my interest and curiosity at finding this undisclosed backstory to my existence, because, though by no means all, a great part of what makes a person is where they come from.
Now, you can imagine, this 'not knowing' can certainly have an affect on someone. Certainly it has on me, and now buried deep within a past I've never approached I begin to explore how being adopted has really affected me. I have always known the fact and am certainly grateful for that. I think that realizing there's some things about me I haven't quite figured out yet in this transitional stage of life parallels this experience--a further discovery of myself is all I could ask for.
I shouldn't go on and on, intellectualizing the experience, which I have a habit of doing often. I should just get a brief glimpse of myself across and hopefully carry with it an expression of the true emotion-based desire to discover my origins--to encounter you.
Right now, I'm in New York City. Yes, I'm that kid who, after living his whole life in small-town ways, has sprung off to chase any number of uncertain dreams in the big city. After college, I came up here to experience all the city had to offer and I am loving the opportunity to learn to be an adult in this challenging, fast-paced world. I'm quite introspective (painfully so at times) and love to write and take pictures about my experiences. I love go to the theater and movies, cultivating friendships in all walks of life, always expanding my awareness of the world.
In that sense I've very glad to be alive, continually engaged in the great project of balancing where I'm going and where I've been--who I am--and happy that, in some far off place and time, you made the decision to have me--to put me into this world.
Certainly struck inept by this journey, I am uncertain of the specifics. Because of this, I have no clear expectations. I would be open to writing back and forth, email, or if we think we can handle it--working toward a meeting. Being a shy kid from way back, I typically find expressing myself a great deal more comfortable in an online format. At the same time, being someone that is eager to experience all life has to offer and always desiring to push myself to grow more, I am equally open to a face to face encounter.
So, without dragging on: Yes, I would love for us to meet in whatever way you're most comfortable with. I'll provide all my contact information below as well as some recent photos. Knowing how much this feels to me, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. In that, I want to reiterate I'm open to making this happen on open grounds in which we're both most comfortable.
I am very excited about this whole experience and look forward to hearing from you.
I close in the same way a smallish note from across unimaginable distances was once penned:
With love,
Matt
Now, you can imagine, this 'not knowing' can certainly have an affect on someone. Certainly it has on me, and now buried deep within a past I've never approached I begin to explore how being adopted has really affected me. I have always known the fact and am certainly grateful for that. I think that realizing there's some things about me I haven't quite figured out yet in this transitional stage of life parallels this experience--a further discovery of myself is all I could ask for.
I shouldn't go on and on, intellectualizing the experience, which I have a habit of doing often. I should just get a brief glimpse of myself across and hopefully carry with it an expression of the true emotion-based desire to discover my origins--to encounter you.
Right now, I'm in New York City. Yes, I'm that kid who, after living his whole life in small-town ways, has sprung off to chase any number of uncertain dreams in the big city. After college, I came up here to experience all the city had to offer and I am loving the opportunity to learn to be an adult in this challenging, fast-paced world. I'm quite introspective (painfully so at times) and love to write and take pictures about my experiences. I love go to the theater and movies, cultivating friendships in all walks of life, always expanding my awareness of the world.
In that sense I've very glad to be alive, continually engaged in the great project of balancing where I'm going and where I've been--who I am--and happy that, in some far off place and time, you made the decision to have me--to put me into this world.
Certainly struck inept by this journey, I am uncertain of the specifics. Because of this, I have no clear expectations. I would be open to writing back and forth, email, or if we think we can handle it--working toward a meeting. Being a shy kid from way back, I typically find expressing myself a great deal more comfortable in an online format. At the same time, being someone that is eager to experience all life has to offer and always desiring to push myself to grow more, I am equally open to a face to face encounter.
So, without dragging on: Yes, I would love for us to meet in whatever way you're most comfortable with. I'll provide all my contact information below as well as some recent photos. Knowing how much this feels to me, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. In that, I want to reiterate I'm open to making this happen on open grounds in which we're both most comfortable.
I am very excited about this whole experience and look forward to hearing from you.
I close in the same way a smallish note from across unimaginable distances was once penned:
With love,
Matt
Monday, March 24, 2008
March Madness
arrghh 0- spewing of thoughts! ... i want to get into it all , figure out a game, master the rules and strategy whatever it takes, even if that's not me and where i want to end up... this is a path i want to force my rusty rails onto -- machinery. like opening my chest up to anyone i meet new, that i enjoy the company of and see love and truth in, i open myself, one stitch at a time, and u can look inside and see all the gears and innerworkings, and maybe there's the chance that someone will poke at a little pendulum that will get something moving inside me that i never thought possible.
3;24;08
how would a reporter-style blog of the bear-community play out? would it be received well, or pompous and limited and judgemental?
3:14:08 - Green Finch and Linnet Bird
butt clenching - endless artifacts and to-do's held suspended in midair
why should I ignore details such as the fact that i cannot be more fascinated with the ___ scores of one Stephen Sondheim, and whatever stereo-reputations that might ensue?
dress up ideas
the boy who works in nj and lives in brooklyn and the other who is vice versa
writer of pet horoscopes
all the wrong people saying 'woof, aren't you too cute!"
you say 'fuck it, embrace the prosody'
meticulous meddling
can this be viewed from the sidelines?
IF YOU DON"T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH, IT IS NOT A LIE.
The Victims:
The Disappointed Dreamer and Pampered Royal
spectacle is distraction
You seek variety, but does he?
Exurberant romance and drama
The Novice
fatally curious
experientially new exposures
more spectacle
be weary of a clever mix of innocence and corruption
The Exotic Fetishist
strong rebellious streak
position yourself as exotic - highlight your differences
a struggle to hold their interest
nothing will offer escape from themselves
The Professor
cannot escape trap of overanalyzing
feel physically inferior
escape their mental prisons
would like pure physicality but cannot get there on their own
hide your own intellectual tendencies
let them judge you
what makes you tick?
the iris showed me you were vulnerable
still waters run deep
busy people have too little space in their minds for you to occupy
we yearn to be drawn out of ourselves, out of our routines and into the drama of eros.
nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny
the use of deliberate dullness
Mute your colors, seem unthreatening, blend in
Create a power by hinting at something contradictory within you - send mixed signals.
the key to both attracting and holding attention is to radiate mystery
3/7/08 - Excercise/Exorcise
adulthood = letting go of (childish) things ?
when people start to disappear, and you realize they may be gone for good - when you are forced to encapsulate a moment with a person or experience, a place - when something becomes finally finite - perhaps when we have become resolute with this fact is the moment we have "grown up".
People I encounter seem so "over it" with so many things.
Perhaps my (foolish?) idealistic hope is simply a defense mechanism to avoid fully approaching/resolving things to their natural conclusion.
Maybe your natural unconscious habit of assigning a 'good' or 'bad' to your overanalyzed motives is the real problem. Maybe in acknowledging the tragedy of human existence you actually apply it to yourself while saying: "Yes I do love to be around people because I love things other than myself, other lives, a myriad of experiences await to share," -- simultaneously: "I need people to avoid feeling alone, and sometimes because I just need some attention." Both are equally valid.
3;24;08
how would a reporter-style blog of the bear-community play out? would it be received well, or pompous and limited and judgemental?
3:14:08 - Green Finch and Linnet Bird
butt clenching - endless artifacts and to-do's held suspended in midair
why should I ignore details such as the fact that i cannot be more fascinated with the ___ scores of one Stephen Sondheim, and whatever stereo-reputations that might ensue?
dress up ideas
the boy who works in nj and lives in brooklyn and the other who is vice versa
writer of pet horoscopes
all the wrong people saying 'woof, aren't you too cute!"
you say 'fuck it, embrace the prosody'
meticulous meddling
can this be viewed from the sidelines?
IF YOU DON"T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH, IT IS NOT A LIE.
The Victims:
The Disappointed Dreamer and Pampered Royal
spectacle is distraction
You seek variety, but does he?
Exurberant romance and drama
The Novice
fatally curious
experientially new exposures
more spectacle
be weary of a clever mix of innocence and corruption
The Exotic Fetishist
strong rebellious streak
position yourself as exotic - highlight your differences
a struggle to hold their interest
nothing will offer escape from themselves
The Professor
cannot escape trap of overanalyzing
feel physically inferior
escape their mental prisons
would like pure physicality but cannot get there on their own
hide your own intellectual tendencies
let them judge you
what makes you tick?
the iris showed me you were vulnerable
still waters run deep
busy people have too little space in their minds for you to occupy
we yearn to be drawn out of ourselves, out of our routines and into the drama of eros.
nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny
the use of deliberate dullness
Mute your colors, seem unthreatening, blend in
Create a power by hinting at something contradictory within you - send mixed signals.
the key to both attracting and holding attention is to radiate mystery
3/7/08 - Excercise/Exorcise
adulthood = letting go of (childish) things ?
when people start to disappear, and you realize they may be gone for good - when you are forced to encapsulate a moment with a person or experience, a place - when something becomes finally finite - perhaps when we have become resolute with this fact is the moment we have "grown up".
People I encounter seem so "over it" with so many things.
Perhaps my (foolish?) idealistic hope is simply a defense mechanism to avoid fully approaching/resolving things to their natural conclusion.
Maybe your natural unconscious habit of assigning a 'good' or 'bad' to your overanalyzed motives is the real problem. Maybe in acknowledging the tragedy of human existence you actually apply it to yourself while saying: "Yes I do love to be around people because I love things other than myself, other lives, a myriad of experiences await to share," -- simultaneously: "I need people to avoid feeling alone, and sometimes because I just need some attention." Both are equally valid.
Monday, February 25, 2008
broken thoughts
i need to sell some of my junk. stacks are rising to the ceiling.
ZTEJ321 : what did you do today'?
Epicurus83 : i sat around - slept in - read - bought groceries - blogstalked
night photos from the vantage of seven feet in the air looking down
flash washing everything out - a few random angles of strangers scattered about - putting the pieces together....
generation gap - carbon dating
branding identities - virtualizing human connections
focus on the details - take it easy on the prose
and why this method of 'knowing' rather than the classic, tried-and-true meeting someone face to face, approaching them, expressing a downtoearth interest...could it be out of cowardice/shyness? .... there again, there are endless seas of therapootical analysis (anal-is-SEAS) ..... methane enduced over-analysis.
and while i've got a stack of books sitting in reality not five feet away from where i now type - to-do reading - and a constant supply via half.com still coming in - i still gravitate toward the intraweb - content to thumb through a blog of someone i don't even know....
my posse, friends and i.
ask anyone standing next to me in the bar and they're sure to be able to list off anyone's bear411 sn quicker than they can remember a real name.
we're still cavorting about, self-image complexes in tow , while one generation above us is... , while one generation above that is.... (maybe i seek assistance with filling in the blanks)
I seem on the fast track to becoming the gossip girl (fanboy) of this newly discovered community...
lives - i can spend an entire day off crashing my safari with *apple-T*-action endless tabs, mapping my through all the blogs/interconnectedness
it's almost better than mapping the intricate mythology of Lost *gasp*. Much to this avid viewer's chagrin, characters on lost have become somewhat 2-D/predictable within the last season. The only current tv i'll watch.
relax. i can be patient. "Italia" by Gabriel yared from Talented Mr. Ripley soundtrack plays as i cross the hall to get a glass of unfiltered tap water. returning to my room with it's random bulbs lighting corners of the vaulted ceiling and awkward angles, making it look like i live in a giant lantern, the day dusking away out my open window. a morsel of contentedness is stirred up by my cozy lantern.
ZTEJ321 : what did you do today'?
Epicurus83 : i sat around - slept in - read - bought groceries - blogstalked
night photos from the vantage of seven feet in the air looking down
flash washing everything out - a few random angles of strangers scattered about - putting the pieces together....
generation gap - carbon dating
branding identities - virtualizing human connections
focus on the details - take it easy on the prose
and why this method of 'knowing' rather than the classic, tried-and-true meeting someone face to face, approaching them, expressing a downtoearth interest...could it be out of cowardice/shyness? .... there again, there are endless seas of therapootical analysis (anal-is-SEAS) ..... methane enduced over-analysis.
and while i've got a stack of books sitting in reality not five feet away from where i now type - to-do reading - and a constant supply via half.com still coming in - i still gravitate toward the intraweb - content to thumb through a blog of someone i don't even know....
my posse, friends and i.
ask anyone standing next to me in the bar and they're sure to be able to list off anyone's bear411 sn quicker than they can remember a real name.
we're still cavorting about, self-image complexes in tow , while one generation above us is... , while one generation above that is.... (maybe i seek assistance with filling in the blanks)
I seem on the fast track to becoming the gossip girl (fanboy) of this newly discovered community...
lives - i can spend an entire day off crashing my safari with *apple-T*-action endless tabs, mapping my through all the blogs/interconnectedness
it's almost better than mapping the intricate mythology of Lost *gasp*. Much to this avid viewer's chagrin, characters on lost have become somewhat 2-D/predictable within the last season. The only current tv i'll watch.
relax. i can be patient. "Italia" by Gabriel yared from Talented Mr. Ripley soundtrack plays as i cross the hall to get a glass of unfiltered tap water. returning to my room with it's random bulbs lighting corners of the vaulted ceiling and awkward angles, making it look like i live in a giant lantern, the day dusking away out my open window. a morsel of contentedness is stirred up by my cozy lantern.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Every little piece
Reading over someone's shoulder .... in the library, on the train...
do you assemble an identity out of fandom... an attraction to something others find alluring...or do you find it alluring yourself. and what do you find alluring yourself - the artifacts? the wrapped up lives? the chase?
and why should any of your efforts be directed elsewhere - double entendre - every effort is not worth it unless it accomplishes multiple objectives you mean?
It's like - you don't know where to start - what to pursue on your own...where to begin. So it's naturally easy to peek over at someone else's newspaper, someone else's crossword, someone else's story and follow along for a bit. And hey, maybe somewhere along the way, you may have the answer to 17-across or some other random clue. In that way, we should look out for opportunities to help each other out. Using our talents to do so. And mine is research. A jigsaw puzzle of unknown breadth is brought up in a helicopter and scattered across the whole of the city. Maybe it's not my job to put the puzzle together, but it sure can be fun to stumble upon some of the pieces. Maybe we're all kinda lookin for where our next pieces are gonna turn up.
Lost mythology teaches us that nothing is irrelevant; every little detail should catalogued and remembered, because one day it will connect with something else, make a little more sense or explode a whole new mystery.
do you assemble an identity out of fandom... an attraction to something others find alluring...or do you find it alluring yourself. and what do you find alluring yourself - the artifacts? the wrapped up lives? the chase?
and why should any of your efforts be directed elsewhere - double entendre - every effort is not worth it unless it accomplishes multiple objectives you mean?
It's like - you don't know where to start - what to pursue on your own...where to begin. So it's naturally easy to peek over at someone else's newspaper, someone else's crossword, someone else's story and follow along for a bit. And hey, maybe somewhere along the way, you may have the answer to 17-across or some other random clue. In that way, we should look out for opportunities to help each other out. Using our talents to do so. And mine is research. A jigsaw puzzle of unknown breadth is brought up in a helicopter and scattered across the whole of the city. Maybe it's not my job to put the puzzle together, but it sure can be fun to stumble upon some of the pieces. Maybe we're all kinda lookin for where our next pieces are gonna turn up.
Lost mythology teaches us that nothing is irrelevant; every little detail should catalogued and remembered, because one day it will connect with something else, make a little more sense or explode a whole new mystery.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
shrink me
There is a question I'd like to posit/throw out there:
What is the dialogue or where is the line between fear and desire?
How can they be intermingled?
What is the dialogue or where is the line between fear and desire?
How can they be intermingled?
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