April Letter

I start out trying to piece together some thoughts for this letter and end up getting lost in all the possibilities of what to write; but then I take a step back with a breath and realize it doesn't have to be a complex thesis of all that I am. The goal: express my interest and curiosity at finding this undisclosed backstory to my existence, because, though by no means all, a great part of what makes a person is where they come from.

Now, you can imagine, this 'not knowing' can certainly have an affect on someone. Certainly it has on me, and now buried deep within a past I've never approached I begin to explore how being adopted has really affected me. I have always known the fact and am certainly grateful for that. I think that realizing there's some things about me I haven't quite figured out yet in this transitional stage of life parallels this experience--a further discovery of myself is all I could ask for.

I shouldn't go on and on, intellectualizing the experience, which I have a habit of doing often. I should just get a brief glimpse of myself across and hopefully carry with it an expression of the true emotion-based desire to discover my origins--to encounter you.

Right now, I'm in New York City. Yes, I'm that kid who, after living his whole life in small-town ways, has sprung off to chase any number of uncertain dreams in the big city. After college, I came up here to experience all the city had to offer and I am loving the opportunity to learn to be an adult in this challenging, fast-paced world. I'm quite introspective (painfully so at times) and love to write and take pictures about my experiences. I love go to the theater and movies, cultivating friendships in all walks of life, always expanding my awareness of the world.

In that sense I've very glad to be alive, continually engaged in the great project of balancing where I'm going and where I've been--who I am--and happy that, in some far off place and time, you made the decision to have me--to put me into this world.

Certainly struck inept by this journey, I am uncertain of the specifics. Because of this, I have no clear expectations. I would be open to writing back and forth, email, or if we think we can handle it--working toward a meeting. Being a shy kid from way back, I typically find expressing myself a great deal more comfortable in an online format. At the same time, being someone that is eager to experience all life has to offer and always desiring to push myself to grow more, I am equally open to a face to face encounter.

So, without dragging on: Yes, I would love for us to meet in whatever way you're most comfortable with. I'll provide all my contact information below as well as some recent photos. Knowing how much this feels to me, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. In that, I want to reiterate I'm open to making this happen on open grounds in which we're both most comfortable.

I am very excited about this whole experience and look forward to hearing from you.

I close in the same way a smallish note from across unimaginable distances was once penned:

With love,

Matt